Christian Life, Mental Health

Girl Stop Apologizing & More

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Have you gotten your hands on a copy of Rachel Hollis’ latest book, Girl Stop Apologizing? Rachel lays out important actions she has taken to attain her level of success. In a world of people telling you to just follow yours dreams, Rachel explains that you can’t just dream, sit back and hope for the best. Achieving big dreams requires hard work, a plan, discipline, and sacrifice.

Rachel’s message is that we need to stop apologizing for who we are and how we are “wired.” We have to stop making excuses for why we aren’t succeeding and stop blaming others for our lack of progress. She shares what keeps her on track like her 10-10-1 rule, getting up an hour earlier than her family, finding a place to work that is not distracting, avoiding time-wasters like social media, eating healthy, exercising daily, creating measurable goals, enlisting help, being a hustler, and so forth.

I love Rachel’s personal examples and practical advice. If people put into practice just a few of her life-principles, they are sure to reap the benefits. This book is not about theology. It’s not about living a Christian life-style. It’s not even about being a mom. This book has a purpose and it hit the bullseye. Rachel talks about her personal health and fitness through eating, sleeping, and exercise, but she does not talk about taking days off. That was not the point of her book so I have no complaints for her leaving it out.

One of the stories Rachel shared was how she decided to forego resting at an airport, even though she was exhausted, so that she could work on her book edits. She mentioned that she was willing to sacrifice rest in order to meet her objectives. This story made me think about how many people out there sacrifice rest in order to be productive.

Many people have no idea that rest is an important part of increasing productivity. Medical research reveals that the brain needs days off in order to restore itself. Many studies even connect REM sleep to emotional memory processing (Walker & van der Helm, 2009). Professional athletes and trainers will tell you that you must take one day off a week for your muscles to rest and restore. The Bible even talks about how we should take a day off for sabbath rest (Exodus 20:8-11). Without rest at least one day per week, we end up being less productive on the other six days.

My encouragement is to read Rachel’s book and figure out how to apply it to your life. However, don’t become a “hustler” and neglect to take days to reset and restore in the process. Achieving your goals while being emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, and relationally healthy is what will make you a real success story.

 

 

Reference

Walker, M. P., & van der Helm, E. (2009). Overnight therapy? The role of sleep in emotional brain processing. Psychological bulletin, 135(5), 731-48.

 

 

Christian Life

Valentine’s Day Idea: Married, Single, and Dating

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image © Sherri Robbins

It’s February… the month of love.

While so many people focus on plans and gifts for Valentine’s Day, I can’t help but think about learning how to have healthy relationships and to love my family unconditionally. Unfortunately, from early childhood, I was taught that love is conditional.

From the time I was a young child and into adulthood, both my parents withdrew from me when I did not meet their expectations. Yes, my mother threatened to sue me when I let her down and I have gotten hate mail from my father, but I understand why they did it. Their dysfunctional childhood years taught them how to push people away when things don’t go the way they envision.

We are all narcissistic by nature and many of us don’t know how to change. Broken relationships all over our world are evidence of this. Our presuppositions of others and tendencies toward making things about ourselves originate from our past relational wounds. Because we don’t learn unconditional love as children, it affects the way we love as adults. I wasn’t shown how to love my husband and kids, but I’m determined to learn how. Do I fail? Yes I do, but I continue to come back to the one who can show me how, God.

So my challenge this month is for each of us to focus on our relationships. What past hurts are preventing us from having healthy relationships now? Who do we need to forgive? What behaviors and thought patterns do we need to change in ourselves? Have we strayed from the One who is our example of unconditional love?

Work on your relationships, seek counseling if you need it, and this just might be the best Valentine’s Day ever!

“Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to do both.”
( 1 John 4:21b MSG)